We're the Perfect Two
by Spaidel
Summary: Some of the most loved and weird couples on this site and the most common ways of how they fell in love. Don't get offended by this.
1. Kato

_This fanfic is about all the couples that I find a bit... strange. _

_The couples that a lot of people write about, but are still strange._

_If you find something in here that is similar to a fic you write/wrote, then don't get offended. I actually like most of those ideas for fanfics and considered writing them myself._

_DISCLAIMER: I do not own The Hunger Games. Suzanne Collins does._

* * *

Katniss, who was sitting in front of the fire she made and eating a raw bunny despite having a fire, knew that something, someone, was coming. She had the ears of a hunter after all, she knew when she wasn't alone.

That, and someone just called, "Katniss! KATNISS!"

Alarmed, Katniss grabbed her bow and arrows and walked a few steps, looking around her and searching for the person who just called her name. His voice was awfully familiar.

She heard a _'crack!_' behind her and she spun around quickly, bow in hand.

But when she saw the blond boy, who looked at her with his beautiful blue eyes, she just had to lower her bow.

She couldn't believe he came for her.

He smiled at her in relief. "Katniss," he said again, his voice softer this time.

Katniss felt herself smiling too. "Cato."

She ran to him, crying by the sight of his gorgeous face, and he wrapped his arms around her when she got to him, soothing her.

"I thought I'd never see you again," she whispered.

"I told you we'd meet again," Cato said to her. "Remember, on the roof, the night just before the Games?"

"You mean, the night when I was supposed to find Peeta on the roof, but for some odd reason found you there instead?"

"Exactly."

Katniss sniffled. "Yes, I remember."

"Remember what I told you?"

Katniss nodded her head, still being held by Cato. "You told me that – that from the first moment you saw me, you knew that you wanted me."

Cato nodded his head. "You were just so hot with that braid and sweaty armpits and hairy legs."

Katniss continued. "And… you told me that because of that, you want to kill me. That you _will_ kill me. Because you were strangely attracted to me, even though I'm not pretty or have a charming personality or even funny. And Careers falling instantly in love with other tributes is not allowed. And no one ever made you feel that way, even though until that night on the roof we didn't say a word to each other."

"It was a love at first sight," Cato said, nodding his head importantly.

"And then you kissed me passionately, and I for some odd reason kissed you back just as passionately even though you just said you wanted to kill me in the Games, then you looked into my eyes and said, 'I love you… but I will kill you.' Which is quite strange, if you think about it, because you'd think that when someone is falling in love with someone else he'd like that person to be alive, right? Unless this person is a necrophile." She eyed Cato suspiciously. "You're not a necrophile, are you?"

Cato laughed at that. "Oh, Katniss. It depends on how hot the dead girl is, obviously."

Katniss pulled away just slightly to look into Cato's blue eyes. "I want you," she stated. "I don't care that you're about to kill me with that sword. I love you too much to care."

Cato shed a tear as he brought the sword closer to Katniss' neck. "I'm sorry, my love. But you knew the risks when you fell in love with a killing machine from District Two who only cares about victory and fame and money."

Katniss looked at the ground. "You're right. I shouldn't have fallen in love with an arrogant killer who only cares about himself and winning and who doesn't think that killing innocent kids is wrong. I really don't know how I was actually able to fall for a guy like you, but I guess the heart wants what the heart wants, and apparently my heart is an idiot."

Cato smiled at her through the tears. "I'm glad you understand."

* * *

"I can't even look at you," Katniss said as she turned away from Cato.

"Why?" Cato asked, knowing why but still asking it.

"Because," Katniss said, crying her eyes out because after winning the Games she turned into a whiny girl, "Whenever I look at you I'm reminded with the fact that I killed Peeta instead of you! I don't know how it was possible, I'm a better archer than the archers in the Olympics, but for some reason, in the most crucial moment of all, I missed my clear target and hit Peeta, the boy who saved me once and then I saved him about fifty times to repay him, and you got to live!"

Cato exhaled loudly. "Man, that's tough."

Katniss shook her head hopelessly. "That's not even the worst part."

Cato raised an eyebrow. "Really? Tell me, Katniss. I don't know why I'm interested in hearing what you have to say to me, but please, do continue."

Katniss took a deep breath, embracing herself for what she was about to say. "I'm falling in love with you!" She finally yelled.

"Why?" Cato asked, not understanding.

Katniss shrugged her shoulders. "I'm asking myself the same thing. I mean, you're arrogant and awful and –"

"No no, it's pretty easy to know that you're in love with me because of my angelic face and fit body," Cato said in a dismissive tone. "What I meant was, why did you have to yell it?"

"For dramatic effect. Every love confession sounds better when it's being yelled."

"Oh."

Katniss sighed. "What are we going to do?"

"Well," Cato said, getting closer to where Katniss was standing, "I think that's pretty obvious. You're depressed because what happened to Peeta, and you can't help but love me, the boy who wasn't supposed to get out of that arena alive but for some reason did after you killed your district partner, and so we have lots and lots of pointless, steamy sex until you feel better and forget about Peeta."

Katniss thought about it for a few long seconds before nodding her head. "Sounds good."

* * *

Cato and Katniss looked at each other in silence.

"I can't believe it," Cato said finally. "My childhood friend, the girl I grew up with… you're here. I can't believe we both have to compete in the Games."

"I know," Katniss said quietly, barely able to speak from all the choked tears in her throat. "How weird is that?"

"Not to mention how weird it is that we grew up with each other despite coming from different districts."

"Well, that way authors can let us have a shared backstory and then it can explain better how we actually fell in love, because 'growing up together' is a far easier love story than 'being thrown together into the Games and falling in love despite their mutual hatred towards each other.'"

"Yeah, that explains it perfectly," Cato said with a nod.

"So what are we going to do?" Katniss asked.

"Well, I can't kill you," Cato stated. "Because we grew up together and shit, and even though I didn't see you since we were two years old I can still remember you and how much I loved you. You were the first girl I punched."

"And you were the first boy I kicked."

Cato couldn't stop his tears. "Oh, so many memories…"

Katniss nodded her head and kissed Cato softly on his lips. "Nothing better than a love story between childhood friends. Even if those children are now depressed teens that have to kill other depressed teens in order to survive."

Cato nodded his head and kissed Katniss again. "Yeah, nothing can beat that."

* * *

_I actually like Katniss/Cato. Mostly because Cato's hot, but still. I like them._

_Should I continue, or is it extremely bad and an embarrassment to every fanfiction writer alive?_

_Well, I can't know without your reviews, now can I?_

_REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!_

_And hope you all have a lovely day... because I sure as hell not going to have a nice day tomorrow._

_Eleventh grade, here I come *sob sob*_


	2. Hayffie

_DISCLAIMER: I do not own The Hunger Games. Suzanne Collins does._

* * *

Sitting in his comfy chair in front of the TV screen, Haymitch looked from the corner of his eye at the pink woman who was frowning at him from across the room.

Her wig barely fit her head and he could see several bald spots under it. Her makeup made her face look extremely pale, too pale, vampire-like pale. Her eyes were narrowed and her lips were curled in disgust and hatred.

Oh, what a sexy sight!

To be honest, Haymitch didn't know exactly what it was about Effie Trinket that made her so appealing. She was so different than him, and really, he hated her at first. But just like most stories on Fanfiction dot net, they also started falling for each other after years of fighting and arguing and hating.

Because falling in love with the person you hate is normal and very realistic.

Effie noticed that Haymitch was watching her and frowned even worse.

"WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT, YOU DRUNKEN ASS?"

How could he ever found this annoying? The way she talked was just delightful, and the words she used… she was such a lady.

"ANSWER ME, YOU DUMB PIECE OF SHIT!"

Knowing that he has to keep his act going, Haymitch looked back at the screen and said flatly, "Your wig is about to fall off your almost-exposed and hairless head."

Effie immediately blushed. "What wig? I don't have any wig!" She squealed.

"Sure you have. It's right there, trying and not succeeding to hide your awful baldness."

Effie turned even redder. "SHUT UP!"

Haymitch rolled his eyes. "A lame reply from an ever lamer girl."

It looked like Effie would explode. "You're lame!"

Haymitch raised an eyebrow. "You know what, scrap that – that was a lame reply."

With one last annoyed, hating look, Effie walked out of the room, fuming and feeling lame.

Haymitch couldn't help but sigh as he watched her go. She probably thought he hated her, but he was just keeping his act as an uncaring guy who hates everyone. Of course, Haymitch didn't even know why he suddenly stopped hating Effie – she was annoying as ever, maybe even more, she was loud and cheerful and everything he hated in this world.

But he just couldn't help but smile as he watched her slamming the door behind her while fixing her wig so that it covered her baldness.

Man, what a woman.

~oOo~

Closing the door of her room behind her, Effie leaned against the hard door, breathing hard until she started to feel less angry and disappointed. Angry, because Haymitch just laughed at her and taunted her like always. Disappointed, because she was in love with Haymitch, who just laughed at her and taunted her like always.

This was a love at first sight, when he puked all over her dress. Since that moment she knew, there was something special between them. But she and Haymitch? That would never work out. So she decided to hate him instead.

But it was so hard to hate him when she loved him so much. I mean, what was there not to like? The beer-belly, the tired eyes, the occasional vomit… it was all so Haymitch, so lovable.

The thing is, Haymitch was completely different from her. They couldn't be more different. That was why they were so great. Because they balanced each other.

How could they balance each other if all they did was argue all the time and never actually tried to help each other out? Well, that's a damn good question. But the author of the story said that they balance each other perfectly, so we're just going to listen to him. It's his story, after all.

* * *

_Thanks for all the lovely reviews! :D_

_I know it's a short chapter, but seriously, I don't read Haymitch/Effie so I don't know what people actually write about them, but that seems like the basic love/hate relationship between them, so I wrote about that._

_Please please PLEASE review, and have a lovely day! :)_


	3. Geeta

_DISCLAIMER: I do not own The Hunger Games. Suzanne Collins does._

* * *

Sitting in Ripper's bar at The Hob, Gale slowly and hollowly drank a bottle after a bottle after a bottle of some unknown liquor. He just couldn't believe it happened. Couldn't comprehend _what_ happened. How could Katniss, the strongest, bravest, hottest woman in all of panem, be dead? How in one second she was breathing, and in the next, dead, on the dirty ground in the 74th hunger games' arena?

It was too much for him to handle.

Gale sipped some more of the disgusting liquid, happy to have a distraction, not to do anything but drink this alcohol that numbed the pain. Sure, Gale had siblings and a mom to take care of, and now Katniss' mother and sister in addition to that. And yes, he hadn't gone hunting for the past two weeks now, preferring to drown in his own misery than help the two families that desperately needed the help. And yes, he spent all the money he had left from his previous hunts on that very liquor he was drinking right now. And yes, his and Katniss' family were probably long dead after not being fed for two weeks. But none of it, _none of it_, really mattered.

Katniss was dead, after all.

After finishing the content of the bottle and practically wrestling Ripper to give him another drink, Gale was thrown out of the bar and into the dirty street by an angry Haymitch.

"Next time, you think twice before you finish half the stash of my goddamn liquor!" Haymitch shouted and returned into Ripper's shop.

Gale got on his feet, swayed a bit, and then saw something that made his heart skip a bit.

Peeta Mellark, the boy who was the reason behind Katniss' death, was making his way down the street, looking gloomy and depressed.

And boy, he looked _fine_ in those new skinny jeans!

Not that Gale noticed or anything. No, he was too angry at the poor boy to realize how hot he was.

Now, a normal Gale would've kicked Peeta's ass for just walking past him.

A drunken Gale… well, he would do the same as a normal Gale, since a drunken Gale was pretty much the same as a normal Gale. Angry and moody.

So that's why, in his drunken state, Gale made his way to Peeta to kick his ass.

"Hey, y…you! B-bread boy!" Gale slurred threateningly at Peeta, who raised his chagrined eyes to look at Gale.

"You killed my girlfriend!" Gale shouted, not caring in the least for making a scene. He wanted the citizens of District Twelve to see him degrading the boy who killed Katniss.

Now Peeta looked mad. "She was never your girlfriend," He hissed between gritted teeth, "She was _mine_."

"No, she was _mine_!" Gale screamed in reply. A bit over the top and dramatic for a public place, but the author of the story just really wanted to show in Gale's actions how broken he was over Katniss' death, so the more dramatic and over the top it is, the better.

"No, she was mine!" Peeta screamed back.

"She was mine!"

"She was mine!"

"She was mine!"

"She was mine!"

"She was MINE!" Now Gale was really close to Peeta. So close that he could see every crumble of bread on the smaller guy's handsome face.

"SHE WAS MINE!" Peeta screamed, the sentence in Caps Lock to show the emotional pain Peeta was in.

And then they were making out.

Neither of them knew why and how exactly it happened – all they knew is that when they were standing there, so close to fight, in pain now that the girl they both loved was dead, all they could think about was _'man, I'd tap that ass!'_

They couldn't explain that sudden attraction. Maybe it was because they both loved and lost, and their shared pain brought them closer together. Maybe it was a way to forget the sadness. Or maybe it was just the author's sick imagination that really wanted to write a yaoi story about Gale and Peeta and tried to think of a somewhat acceptable way for them to be together.

After about six minutes of furiously making out in the middle of the street, tongues battling for dominance and teeth clashing in passion and all that shit that must be pretty hurtful but, for some reason, the two characters both loved it, Peeta and Gale stopped for taking a deep breath.

And then Gale punched Peeta in the face.

"That's for killing my girlfriend!" He shouted, kissing Peeta again.

Peeta then kicked Gale while still kissing him.

"And that's for not realizing she was _my_ girlfriend!" Peeta said, kissing him again.

Gale punched Peeta again, then said with fire in his eyes, "Wanna move to a more private place?"

"Please, do!" Everyone around them shouted, praying that the two boys wouldn't take their clothes off in front of everyone while in the middle of the very passionate and very confusing battle they had.

Peeta apparently agreed with the citizens of District Twelve, and so he and Gale started making their way to Gale's house, still kissing somehow.

When they finally got to Gale's house, a smell of stench surrounded them and they both grimaced in disgust.

"What is that smell?" Peeta asked, feeling nauseated.

"Oh, it's just my family and Katniss' family, decomposing."

"Oh," Peeta said, scrunching his eyebrows. "Don't you want to move them?"

"Why would I do that? Dead bodies are a great source of fertilizer."

And then they were kissing again, taking off items of clothing and throwing them on the corpses surrounding them.

Maybe what they did was wrong and unreasonable and way too soon after Katniss' death, but hey, the author wanted a smutty story about two hot guys making out, and a smutty story about two hot guys making out she shall get, no matter how little plot to it there is.

* * *

_...hi :)_

_Sorry for not updating in... eight months (!). But it's one of those stories that I write only when I get an inspiration._

_I actually kinda like Gale/Peeta stories. It really depends how good the author is, because it's one of those couples that it's hard to make them work. But I read some awesome stories about them, and some stories... not so awesome about them._

_Have a lovely day, and please review! :)_


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